January 15, 2011

Language-learner Learns a Lesson

Earlier this week, I attended my first Spanish class at the local community college. After 10 years of studying German (and a semester of French and a crash course in Cambodian) I have lots of experience learning language--what to listen for and what to write down--most importantly, I enjoy the process of contorting my mouth into a new language's sounds. For the first activity in Spanish, we were given a sheet of Shakira song lyrics and asked to read paragraphs aloud--to assess our Spanish ability (mostly to butcher the song for the teacher's enjoyment). Being the total snob that I am, my ears burned as classmates murdered the words one-by-one in an unmelodious display of the perfect English pronunciation of Spanish words. Of course I found my own reading to be a delightful symphony of rolled RRR's and enunciated vowels, and I silently thanked some classmates for making it so easy to sound smart. I was able to ride the wave of snobbish pretense (and a decade's experience learning languages) though basic Spanish introductions with minimal struggle. I left the classroom feeling superior, a natural talent, a destined languagemeister with a multilingual brain, tongue and stomach.

You can imagine the bursting of my bubble when I arrived at Lincoln Public Schools Mentor training this morning. Instead of praising natural talent or intelligence, praise the effort and the struggle of hard work.

That was the idea we focused on at this morning's Mentors for the Highly Gifted training. The supervisor of the LPS Highly Gifted Program presented research and suggestions about how to most effectively praise learners. Dr. Carol Dweck, professor of Psychology at Standford University, suggests that high-ability learners have one of two mindsets: 1) the "fixed" mindset, or 2) the "growth" mindset. Learners who were often praised for being smart or having a certain IQ may fall into the fixed mindset in which they feel that their intelligence is a natural talent and that they shouldn't have to work hard to be successful. On the other hand, learners whose effort and struggles with difficult curriculum were acknowledged and praised tend to develop a  desire to learn and improve--the growth mindset. This research puts more pressure on the person giving the praise to think about what it is that he or she is praising: the noun (talent, test scores, IQ) or the verb (working, struggling, putting in effort).

This presentation resonated with me as a learner and as a teacher. Probably every day of my life I have wished I were naturally better at something, maybe running, cooking or singing--but I don't work on those things every day. Supposedly it takes 10,000 hours of doing something before you can be eminent. That's spending a year and half, without sleep, doing nothing but running or cooking or singing. If that's the case, I should be eminent at watching Law and Order, but little else. Worrying, maybe.

For highly gifted students, it is very easy to get by with little to no effort. In fact, these students become so accustomed to "being smart" that when they come across an actual challenge, they are very vulnerable to setbacks. Their self-worth has been based solely on IQ scores and easy straight-A report cards for so long that they haven't developed study skills. As a child in "gifted" programs, my intelligence was measured and praised, and I remember panicking in Calculus class because I wasn't getting an A. Actually, I wasn't even passing! I wasn't used to being confused and having to really think about my homework. It's completely ironic that the most gifted students can also have some of the poorest study habits and learning attitudes. If I'm not good at it, I won't do it. I'm not going to take on challenges because I might fail. Just so you know, I came in before school (between morning swim practice and school...that was a bad semester) several days a week to work and re-work problems with Mr. Campbell--a wonderful teacher. Even though that "B" would be the lowest grade I would receive in high school or college, I have never appreciated any grade more. I earned that "B."

During the presentation, I felt inspired about education again. I felt good that I would one day be a teacher, and that I would be ready to dole out proper praise to foster  "growth" mindsets in all of my students. Rainbows and Sunshine. Free Love. World Peace.

Then, he started speaking German--my mentoring subject area. He was another mentor at the session, a native of Bavaria (that's southern Germany), and he just came over to my chair and starting speaking auf Deutsch. Caught off guard, and very hungry for lunch, I struggled to flip the foreign language switch. It came down with a thud as I mangled an introduction that would've made my Spanish classmates proud. As I mis-conjugated and flubbed the easiest words, it was as though I could see the umlauted words leaving my mouth scribbled and crossed out. This really isn't fair, I thought. None of the math tutors introduced themselves via a quadratic equation or logarithm. As I told the guy, I can read and understand German very well, but to make organic conversation, well, I'm out of practice. Actually, the sentence amounted to, "I read and understand, but speak...I...not good...I don't have...practice...I must practice." He was a good sport and continued speaking German when most would have casually switched back to English. I, on the other hand, felt a tremendous defeat.

But wait. Is this not the situation we were talking about all morning? I struggled to make conversation, even though I've been studying German for 10 years. My delusions of natural talent were dashed, but did I walk to my car thinking about the right conjugations of the verbs and wanting to look up a few vocabulary words? You bet I did.  What a fabulous struggle I had!

But there's more! My humbling conversation made me think, "Wow, language teachers are important. Making conversation is a real key to everyday life! I'm going to be a language teacher. Take that, world!"

And, a final word about to Spanish classmates--The message in my blog is not meant to criticize your Spanish, but to poke fun at myself and to honestly praise every learner's struggle--even my own. Fellow Spanish-takers, we have 9,998 more hours until we are eminent. Let's go get 'em!

January 9, 2011

Leggo my Ego.

Last year at this time, I was watching Wolf Blitzer cover the news about a massive Earthquake in Haiti--from my hotel room in Phnom Penh. Today, as I sat in my parents' dining room, CNN informed me that a deranged young man had gone on a shooting spree in Arizona. And earlier this week, it was a school shooting in Omaha.

So this year, instead of my certain death by Cambodian bus trip, I'm thinking more about catching a stray bullet during everyday activities. Neither is a good way to go.

And rather than wiping the sweat from my brow, I'm rubbing my eyes which have glazed over from filling out the online job applications. I've been reading books and articles about the job hunt since July, but I didn't realize until today how deeply jobs can affect our egos. After having a job as a writing consultant or as an English teacher in a place of high need, sacking groceries or stocking shelves just seems, well, unimportant. Beneath me is what I really want to say, but how conceited and snobbish am I? My first applications were to temporary state jobs and to a staffing agency. These were probably a little out of my range, but I liked the pay, and the jobs seemed like real work--a solid nine to five. After taking a series of clerical proficieny tests, I felt a little less proficient, and my ego settled for another round of searching.

Today I applied to Gallup, yes the survey place. As part of the application, I had to take a hefty survey to gage my compatibility with the position, or at least my ability to avoid the answers that make me sound lazy, dishonest or rude. Following the test of character--which I passed with flying colors because they didn't ask about an inflated ego--I got inspired to apply to places that could possibly have branches in my future towns. I can transfer my positive attitude and rule-following behavior to whatever state I want. My answers on the applications showed that while I have very little interest or experience in home improvement, cashiering or working full-time; I am not a convicted felon, and I would report a coworker if I saw him stealing.

As sorry as I felt for my own ego, I thought of how hard it must be for the people who have been laid off from actual jobs who have to do the same thing I am doing now. To apply for hourly jobs that pay very little and challenge you even less is difficult. In my brain, I understand that any job is better than no job, and that 40 hours a week is the right thing for me to do, but why is it so hard to apply to drug store chains? Why can't amazing, unadvertised opportunity just ring me up on the telephone: Jena, we've seen your work, and our company really needs your expertise. We want to pay you loads of money to learn foreign languages, teach English and consult our writers. Can you come in tomorrow? 

Back in the real world, I hope to land at least two interviews and a job offer out of my applications. The only thing worse than applying for a job you don't want is getting rejected by the job you didn't want in the first place.

To all my fellow job-seekers, I salute you and your difficult journey to a higher paycheck and more fulfilling life.

January 6, 2011

2011: The year I didn't go to Cambodia?

Today I feel good about myself. I gave a presentation about Cambodia to my Grandma's church group, I made some headway on the job search and I maintained a positive outlook on 2011.

Five days in and it's shaping up to be quite a year. A New Year's visit to Kearney cleared my head and reminded me of my inner artist.  My resolution? Glad you asked. Well, I didn't make anything too formal, but I want to embrace the things that make me feel happy--good friends, creative pursuits, language. I want to keep trusting my gut, but check in with my head and bank account along the way.

My parents and I did some math the other night and figured out that my rent  in Flagstaff would cost a whole lotta moolah, so it looks like I'll be getting another or a different job very soon.

On the subject of job hunting, I was thinking about the terrific play on words in that expression. Imagine going after a job like it were wild game, rifle in hand (BTW, guns are not okay in interviews), camouflage attire. Take aim at the big salary and BANG! Job's yours. Job hunt is not a very fair description. Maybe more like speed dating or getting picked out of a line-up down at the precinct. A "hunt" implies a kill and a haul, something you could make jerky out of. My work experience, and especially my job hunting experience usually makes me feel like the wounded animal, begging for mercy--or at least more money.

As part of my application today, I took a few online Microsoft Office/Clerical proficiency tests. I thought my youth and daily use of Word would breeze me though those tests, but it was like I had never used a computer before.I was stumped on nearly every question. Don't even get me started on the typing test. Most commonly struck key? Backspace.

But my self-esteem is up. I don't want to be a professional secretary, I want to be a dynamic teacher and advocate for literacy. And I proved it to myself today at my Grandma's church. Public speaking was once my greatest fear. How could I possibly make a speech last 10 minutes, I'll pee my pants, etc. Now I feel like I could get up there are talk for hours--how can I keep it to 30 minutes? I talked about my experiences in Cambodia, the similarities and differences, the people and places, the heat, the food, everything. I felt so good standing up at the little podium talking about my Khmer teacher and her feminist agenda. My heart is in education--that much is clear.

If this is just the first week, I can't wait to see what the rest of the year brings.

Happy 2011.