January 19, 2010

Hokey-Pokey Post about Homesickness

Today, I am homesick. My failed blog attempts of the past few days (saved only as drafts...) suffered from daydream syndrome. I want to write about my adventures on boats, the ultimate chaos at the big markets, and my afternoon at the Royal Palace with Nouna, but I have other things on my mind today.

I'm really missing my life at UNK. Knowing what I'm supposed to do and say, being understood when I talk, and having some semblance of routine were things I took for granted last year. What I wouldn't give for a coffee date at Barista's or a morning shift at the WC!

Until today, I was not particularly homesick because I had no extra energy. Between dodging the traffic, handling sensory overload, and managing general disorientation, I couldn't even think about what I missed. Now, feeling ambitious/pretentious, I think I've become more acclimated to my smogged-out corner of Phnom Penh. I'm craving the open skies and clear air of Kearney.

But don't misunderstand me. Homesick doesn't mean I want to go home. On the contrary. I just arrived and I'm struggling to find my feet. Homesick means that I am away--living part of my dream--in a part of the world opposite my homeland. If I weren't homesick, what would that say about my home? The place I come from is worth missing.

Okay, enough with the whining. I'm off to live the life of a newly-graduated woman on a volunteer trip in Cambodia! Wish me luck!